Happy Halloween from The Connection Call Center Crew!!

Joke of The Day 10-28-2011

A young sales executive was working late at the office one evening, when he sees the Vice President of Global Sales from corporate headquarters standing in front of a shredder with a few sheets of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the Vice President of Global Sales, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my temporary  assistant at your office has gone home for the night.  Can you handle this for me, without looking at it?"

"Certainly sir," said the young sales executive, eager to make a good first impression.

The young sales exec, turns on the paper shredder, inserts the document, and presses the start button.  In a few seconds the pages disappear into the "titanium jaws of death!"

When he returns to his desk, the young sales exec hears that all too familiar sound of a new email in his inbox.  At this time of night, he goes straight to it because it could be his wife who is expecting any day now.

"Why isn't that nice," he thinks to himself.  It's an email from the VP of Global Sales with "Thank-you, just one more thing..."  in the subject heading.   "Imagine that," the young sales exec thinks as his cursor moves over to open his email, "I didn't even know the VP of Global Sales knew my name!"  

The email opens and it reads.

"After the signed contract gets faxed through to legal, would you mind Fedexing the orignals to my assistant at headquarters?  Legal needs originals on any orders over $1,000,000.00.      I'll also need a photocopy of them for my records.       Thanks again.   You've been a great help at quarter end."

Moral of the story.   Whenever a superior asks you to do something, a professional salesperson always responds with a close ended "verification" question to ensure a complete understanding of the situation.

For example in this situation the young exec should have responded:

"I'd be glad to sir.  But just to make certain I completely understand, you would like this document completely shredded without me looking at it, correct?"  

Some might feel that "verification" questions are redundant.  Nothing could be further from the truth.   Remember that if you do not verify you would need to "assume".    And the "a-s-s" part of assume would be your own, getting kicked out of the company because of situations like these.   So remember....   in sales...   when dealing with a superior....   kick in with the ask now to prevent a kick in the "a-s-s" later.

Joke of The Day 10-18-2011

A salesman and saleswoman travelling through Europe, and having never met before, find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.  After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the saleswoman on the top bunk, the salesman on the lower.

In the middle of the night the saleswoman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket?"

The salesman leans out from the bottom bunk and, with a giant glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea....  Let's pretend we're married!"

"Why not?" giggles the saleswoman.

"Great then!" says the salesman.  "Since we're married, you can get your own d-a-r-n blanket!"

Moral of the story.   And just where did you think this joke was going?   Get your mind out of the gutter already.  And back on sales where it should be!   As any sales professional knows.....   staying focused on the job at hand rather than letting your mind wander down the tracks of disrepute....   (you did it agian didn't you??)   is the key to success. 

Joke of The Day 10-17-2011

A salesman runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help.  The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has the salesman put his dog down on the examination table.  The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the salesman that his dog, regrettably is dead.

The salesman, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.

The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body.  The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows.

The vet looks at the salesman and says, "I'm sorry but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too."  The salesman is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.

The vet brings in a big black labrador.  The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks.

The vet looks at the salesman and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too."

The salesman, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes.

The vet answers, "$650."

"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaimed the salesman.

"Well," the vet replied, "I would only have charged you $50 for my diagnosis but you insisted on the $300 cat scan and the $300 lab test."

Moral of the story.  For all those reps out there who are in a funk because it's Monday morning....   Cheer up!   The week is just getting started.  Your dog didn't die!   And you are already ahead the $650 some other schmuck just paid his vetinarian.  It's a great day!  ;-)

Joke of The Day 10-14-2011

There was an international sales convention in Paris.  During the lunch hour break 3 American salesmen find themselves in a fancy restaurant.  There is an historic, magical wish-granting mirror, rumoured to be once owned by Napoleon, standing in the corner.  But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth.  If you lie, you disappear.

The first American, a software salesperson for Microsoft, decides to give it a try.  He walks up to the mirror, stands before it and says,  "I work for the most innovative software firm in the world!"

"POOF!" he disappears.

The second American, a smartphone salesperson for RIM, working out of their New York office, decides he'll have a try.  He walks up to the mirror, stands before it and says,  "I work for the most reliable smartphone manufacturer and serivce provider in the world!"

"POOF!" he disappears.

The third American, a iPhone salesperson for Apple, decides he'll have a go at it.  He walks up to the mirror, stands before it and says, "I work..."

"POOF!" he disappears.

Moral of the story.  If you're a professional salesperson working a gig that's too good to be true, whatever you do....   DON"T TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT!   Because as soon as you do...   either the job or you will disappear!

Joke of The Day 10-13-2011

A salesman and his wfie are both getting ready to go to work in the morning.

Salesman:     Honey, you always carry my photo in your handbag to the office everyday.  Why?

Wife:      When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Salesman:     You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Wife:    Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Moral of the Story.   Professional salespeople know that if they can find a way to solve their prospects' problems their prospects will turn into customers and continue to do business with them for years to come.

Joke of The Day 10-11-2011

A young professional saleswoman went on-line to find herself the perfect date.  She was tired of wasting her time with her girlfriends at clubs, at weekend resort getaways or at boring charity events where all the "Mr. Rights" supposedly hung out.

So after registering her qualifications, adjusted optimally to secure her someone worthy of course, she began to list the qualities she wanted in her mate for life.  She wanted someone who enjoyed water sports, ate mostly fish no beef,  liked company, favored formal attire and was very small.

The on-line dating's site computer program operated flawlessly.

It sent her a penguin.

Moral of the story.   As any true sales professional knows, there is only so much one can do from your desk with a database and a web browser.   (Remember, it doesn't take much to have a great looking web-page.)  If you want to be successful in sales you need to get out in your territory and meet people face to face.  That's the only way to make a real long-lasting connection and properly ascertain what's really going on out there.

Joke of The Day 10-10-2011

A German, a Russian and an American salesman are traveling in the Amazon to open up a new territory for their respective firms.  They get captured by a jungle tribe native to the region.

The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"

The German responds.  "I will take oil!"

So the Amazons put oil on his back and a large Amazon whips him ten times.   When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can barely move.  The Amazons haul the German away.

The head of the tribe says to the Russian, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"

The Russian responds.  "I will take mud!"

So the Amazons put mud on his back and a large Amazon whips him ten times.   When he is finished the Russian has these huge welts on his back, but he had taken his ten lashing without a flinch.  The Amazons begin to haul the Russian  away.

The head of the tribe says to the American, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"

The American responds.  "I will take the Russian!"

Moral of the story.   Always be prepared to think outside of the box.  Doing so will allow you to often beat your competition and might even save your own skin someday!